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Entry #273

There was this girl

10/2/13 by beastkid7
Updated 10/2/13

you are a figment projection of what I wish you to be. Every sweet step you take is a step on my soul, and ever glance an instillation of memories that do not exist; every smile, I swear we fell in love. Thoughts glaze reality though. The fear that the sweet icing doesn't match the unknown lets my lips move while soul is shut. Know one will know.

My eyes are leaping down to find the treasures in the physicality of my brain, smeared. Lips tight, still, waiting. Engineering the white noise. I have been gazed, sent two ways from a land were drunk is dry. I exist undead. A partial reality to my heavy lids, waiting. But I don't want a sweet death. I want a hard one. A silent one, finished. A self determined self, cracks my back up and burns the insides of my neck melding it to stand straight. I do this to live, because I'm dying, and I don't want to be dying and then temporarily die. I just want to be dead. Spear me the reincarnation. When I wake up just as dead as the other day. Sleep is a false soothing. Death is misleading, and it's getting harder to stay alive, because they won't let me die.

Truth be told a tired part three. I failed and I always explain when there are witnesses. I am embarrassed even in the dark when my eyes can't hold. When my heart must be quenched. I know we all have problems, and I know we all have it bad. But whats worse than not being able to explain your pain. Whats worse than being tortured in the dark of your mind. I am something absurd, my friend. I am twisted. Whats worse than not being able to reel it all in to show some one how fucked up you feel. You are left to believe you are insane, because what is your reason when you don't have one, but pain.

bleading black ink
squeezing

You are drawn to the rain because you can not cry
you are drawn to the darkness because you can not calm your mind

Death.

:) that is all

goodnight


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