Ignorance scares me I think
The thought of being, not seeing
Being blind
It swells in me this abstract fear of not being enough
Not having what it takes
hmmm ....the classic fear of failure is it?
I cannot tell its a smothered bell in the dark grey reassesses of my mind
Then the gong of retribution sounds, a loud shaking thunder
It says something must be dun, something must be won
Or something will be sacrificed

I know there is getting up
But I'm not getting up
I want to get up
but I'm down
I need to get up
but I'm still on the ground
Peirce to the earth by an invisible fear
A decision in me ...unknown to me
Sub consciously

I've had epiphanies
I've have a bit of clarity
I've got all the motivation in the world
But they arn't connecting in my brain
in this way feel insane
I know I forced the play this game
But so many do the same
and for this I am ashamed

Unlock my sanity
It feels like there are so many doors here ...in my mind
Locks Locks Locks
I need a key, It feels Like I cant see, inside of me.
I feel so weird because I simply cant function the way others do
They way others just know ...they just KNOW
how do you just know
Have you opened your doors and have you found the key
Have you sailed the ocean of the mindful sea
My minds eye is shattard, oh my tools of irony
that my trade an artist be

I will this key FIND
I will pull out this SPEAR of FEAR
I will take my mind
switch to manual to manual I will care
distroy auto. There is no mindlessness
no slow only full throtle
My potential feels infinite ..I can feel it in my soul
I just Gota find that CAPABLE ...I guess manual here we go