I want to love you, so I will love you.

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John Murray @beastkid7

Age 32, Male

secret agent...shhhh

New York

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I want to love you, so I will love you.

Posted by beastkid7 - February 18th, 2013

And when I go to rest tonight
I will imagine a thousand scenarios of your beauty
and I will fall in love with what I imagine you to be

I don't even know you

Isn't it dam ner idiotic that we have the ability to imagine, to conjure up love out of thin air. Based on Hyperbole or shear make believe. I know, I'm in the business of doing this. But it seems so... wrong, when put into a practical situation. Some thing really erks me about being able to 'feel falsely'. To love someone who doesn't even exist. Then again, I suppose that's what gives us the ability to have "Agape love". To honestly love humanity as a whole. hmm... or to love a person for the potential of who they can be, rather then who they are at the moment.

I guess imagining is the ability to see beyond what is right before our eyes. Things that are in fact real. Or could be, lol if you ...*roles eyes* would only believe in them. smh that annoys me lol. But, I guess it is beautiful. I guess it just bothers me how easily we can be deceived.. or even deceive ourselves.

Whether it be with our significant other, or God himself.

[edit] Got an interesting thought? You can be sure Muse made a song about it, lol

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VicariousE 2013-02-18 20:00:24

Love can be used to deceive or as an excuse to do bad things... it also one of the most selfish emotions (Japanese study I read in HS over 20 years ago).
Yet without unconditional love, we are not human. Love is what will keep us eternal.

beastkid7 2013-02-18 20:00:24

A catch 22, is it? I don't think love is selfish though. Selfishness stems from a lack of love, right? If you really love someone you want them to be happy, even if its not the best for you.

VicariousE 2013-02-19 16:21:18

Yeah, you right. Guess I was playing devil's advocate. A lot of guys, my Pop included, are/were very selfish with whom they love, holding them too closely. Couldn't be that way myself, though I admit trying it early on in HS.

beastkid7 2013-02-19 16:21:18

hehe, I do the same thing. My mom's like that but aren't all moms :P. Nothing to crazy she just wants her kids to all live at home despite there age. lol, She kicks you out first then she'll make a feast for you to come back.

I'm an oddball. My selfishness is more along the lines of not giving anyone any attention, and just doing my own thing. I'm a real loner by nature, I have to schedule in my affection lol. Other wise my friends end up feeling ignored.

VicariousE 2013-02-23 16:19:32

Think I got Aspergers, but in the mid-70's they didn't have a name for it yet.. the ultimate in introvertedness. I hear ya. More substance, less hot air (less volume too thx).

Currently caught between two friends breaking up... 10 years ago, I would've fucked it up, but I think I got lucky and things are more 'on the table' now. Nothing more painful than seeing loved friends hurting. And at that age and experience.. think they both handled it better than kids of my generation would've.

beastkid7 2013-02-23 16:19:32 (Updated 2013-02-24 15:19:40)

Aspergers, huh. I think my personality makes me similar to anybody with Aspergers.. but from what I've read I don't have all the "symptoms". lol, exactly.

Yeh, nothing worse than that.

VicariousE 2013-03-27 04:46:31

Say, have you ever gone to any NG function before?

\/ Oh, and luckily, my idiotic intervention actually helped them sort out things.

beastkid7 2013-03-27 04:46:31

Nope, I haven't. I may in the future, I still have yet to pass my road test :/ so my independence is some what hindered at this point in time.

VicariousE 2013-03-27 17:20:31

Yesterday I was complaining to my doctor, who drives a Jaguar, about my Pop's 5.7 liter V8 gas guzzler of epic proportions... he said get a moped ._. To buy, register and insure one would cost over 2 grand! Plus I'm hurt enough, and don't want to be an SUV's hood ornament.
Hope you get the chance to pass the roadtest before you need to retake the written test.

beastkid7 2013-03-27 17:20:31

mopeds are awesome, I'd ride one. But yeh, I don't have 2 grand o_o

VicariousE 2013-03-28 20:28:51

I've got 2 mopeds, but no title or paperwork. Didn't need that stuff back in the day. To do a title search would take months and cost quite a bit for the newspaper listings :P
At least there's gonna be a meet in the city soon <a href="http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1336122">http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1336122</a> which should be better than last years debacle.

VicariousE 2013-04-04 07:58:40

Ah man, glad I caught your latest work.... you know there's a severe backup of under judgement stuff (movies and games)? Maybe just hold off on posting again for a few days, till this glut of stuff gets caught up with - I blame the full moon, the upload bug and the post-Spring break submissions

There are some university movies in there too, begging for reviews. Saw a lot of new and great talent these past few days of catching up.... it's just, like over three times the normal volume!

beastkid7 2013-04-04 07:58:40

hmm, havn't reviewed stuff in a while. I think I will, if theres a need for it.

I want to love you, so I will love you.

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