Premise: 3 kids, Eva, Storma, and Beta are traveling across the frozen ocean to save there brother Rod.
Wide shot of them, from the back walking on the ice. The eldest girl to the right, sattled with knives, small bags and sashes. The middle child with skinny legs and a giant coat and the youngest one, a boy constantly clacking his fathers hammer on the Ice.
The Camera cuts to a closer shot of them walking you hear the clacking louder and slowly getting faster. "Will you give me that hammer, your going to get us all KILLED!" Storma shouts. Her boyish voice echoing into the air.
Eva, the middle child drops to the ice and curls into a ball. Storma stares at her for a few seconds of understanding.
She bends down and pleads, "Come on Eva, we don't have time for this."
Eva replies with muffled sounds, Her head tucked under her arms and parka.
"What?" Storma says confused.
lifting her head Eva shouts "We have to go back! This is insane!" She pauses to compose her self. "Storma, you know how I feel about the ocean. It's like. The worst way to go."
Little Beta interrupts, "Rodney says, death by fire, is the worst." "Ok well for me, Beta. For me, drowning and freezing to death simultaneously is the worst."
Beta shows himself offended with his cartoonish expression.
Storma helps Eva up and their eyes meet
"We have to go back." Eva whispers.
"We can't. I don't expect you to understand yet." Storma turns towards the sun. "Look how far weave come, I haven't seen a scratch on the ice yet."
A thunderous cracking sound emits from the ice. A watery line thickens between Beta-Eva and Storma. Eva shrinks back on to the middle of the ice patch holding Beta as Storma struggles to find a balance on the small wobbling ice beneath her. She quickly scans for a larger patch of ice and leaps forward landing on her side.
Eva waves her hands in the distance, steadily floating further away. Storma whips out one of her knives, rips the long rope off from around her waist and fastens them together fluidly. Wasting no time, she loosens her grip of the rope and swings it around her head 3 times.
Storma whispering desperately to herself. "Once for momentum, twice for aim...CATCH IT!" She shouts to Eva as the sharp knife whizzes into the sky.
SINCK The knife darts with accuracy between Beta and Eva. Beta looks at the knife in astonishment as the rope calmly falls on top of it. Eva laughs with relief.
"YOU HAVE TO NAIL IT DOWN!" Storma shouts from afar. She had already done so on her end. Eva's eyes fidget with hopelessness as the rope starts to sink into the water. "With what?!" "Whit this!" Beta shouts. Lifting his hammer into the air and smashing the knife solidly into the ice, just as the rope tightened.
VicariousE
It's a small, interesting segment of a larger story... but everyone likes action sequences. Dialogue seems good, not too pushy (exposition), age appropriate. I tried to watch The Hunger Games (too... something... abstract maybe)... this seems like a scene from that movie, maybe.
It's a good scene, definitely worth expanding on!
beastkid7
:) thank you! I always had a thing for kids in dangerous situations on there own. Forcing them to come together. (maybe I just watched to much digimon as a kid)
Yeah, I was surprised that I actually enjoyed the Hunger games. I mean it had it's flaws. But it wasn't bad. It was a bit abstract.. it didn't tell it's back story well enough, I feel. I hear the second one is really good though. A lot better.